Haiku Koo-Koo: 10/18/12

My car is covered
Hundreds of small yellow leaves
I wipe away fall

1 comment:

  1. BillOctober 18, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    I think this would have more of a haiku flow if you dropped "is" and added "by" to line 1. I also think "autumn" would in this case yield a greater resonance

    my car covered by
    hundreds of small yellow leaves
    I wipe away autumn

    It gives you 18 syllables, but who's counting?

    Good one, either way.

    ReplyDelete

Thoughts?

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)