Not strictly traditional Haiku
I think this would have more of a haiku flow if you dropped "is" and added "by" to line 1. I also think "autumn" would in this case yield a greater resonancemy car covered byhundreds of small yellow leavesI wipe away autumnIt gives you 18 syllables, but who's counting?Good one, either way.
Thoughts?
I think this would have more of a haiku flow if you dropped "is" and added "by" to line 1. I also think "autumn" would in this case yield a greater resonance
ReplyDeletemy car covered by
hundreds of small yellow leaves
I wipe away autumn
It gives you 18 syllables, but who's counting?
Good one, either way.