Not strictly traditional Haiku
Thank you! I took some advice and searched my haiku files for more traditional types (just to prove they're not all weird)
In the first one, I don't think you need "pond." "duck"puts us there. And you can't be in two places at once, which makes line 3 intellectual, rather than perceptual; an idea, rather than an experiencefoggy morningthe duck's quackhas no echo
What a difference the more practiced hand can make! I appreciate you sharing your wisdom. Thanks, Bill!
Thoughts?
Thank you! I took some advice and searched my haiku files for more traditional types (just to prove they're not all weird)
ReplyDeleteIn the first one, I don't think you need "pond." "duck"puts us there. And you can't be in two places at once, which makes line 3 intellectual, rather than perceptual; an idea, rather than an experience
ReplyDeletefoggy morning
the duck's quack
has no echo
What a difference the more practiced hand can make! I appreciate you sharing your wisdom. Thanks, Bill!
ReplyDelete