Not strictly traditional Haiku
I like these very much. My favourite is the bison haiku - that really paints a vivid picture for me.Thanks for the visit!Kat
Thank you! I took some advice and searched my haiku files for more traditional types (just to prove they're not all weird)
In the first one, I don't think you need "pond." "duck"puts us there. And you can't be in two places at once, which makes line 3 intellectual, rather than perceptual; an idea, rather than an experiencefoggy morningthe duck's quackhas no echo
What a difference the more practiced hand can make! I appreciate you sharing your wisdom. Thanks, Bill!
Thoughts?
I like these very much. My favourite is the bison haiku - that really paints a vivid picture for me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the visit!
Kat
Thank you! I took some advice and searched my haiku files for more traditional types (just to prove they're not all weird)
ReplyDeleteIn the first one, I don't think you need "pond." "duck"puts us there. And you can't be in two places at once, which makes line 3 intellectual, rather than perceptual; an idea, rather than an experience
ReplyDeletefoggy morning
the duck's quack
has no echo
What a difference the more practiced hand can make! I appreciate you sharing your wisdom. Thanks, Bill!
ReplyDelete