Not strictly traditional Haiku
That line 3 comes as a plausible surprise. Well done. I don't generally like this many modifiers, but they work here. Just for illustration, the stripped-down version might beclouds raceacross the moonI call my dog
Thoughts?
That line 3 comes as a plausible surprise. Well done. I don't generally like this many modifiers, but they work here. Just for illustration, the stripped-down version might be
ReplyDeleteclouds race
across the moon
I call my dog